Adoption- A shining light for Russian orphans

Thank you! Russia, the Russia friends we have made, and mostly the two Russian children we adopted all deserve the thanks of our entire family. We deeply respect those that helped to successfully bring two children of Russia to our family in the United States. In 1998 we were a family of three, but not entirely the complete family envisioned by Christine; my wife of twelve years; or McKenzie; our six year old son. We desired another child to complete what we felt a typical family should be. It was only after several difficult attempts at having a second child, that our family thought to seek a child through adoption. I must admit that I was skeptical as an adoption option is still perceived as unusual and difficult. It is also perceived as corrupt and quite frankly a desperate option.

We were at once shocked and pleased that few children were available for adoption in our home state of Colorado. Those children that are available were often older and had a wide range of overwhelming special needs. It was complete destiny that over a several week period we met four local families and the children they had adopted from Russia. We were excited at the growing options available in international adoption; and immediately contacted the same agency these families had used. Naive as we were, we had little understanding of the task before us or the tremendous gift we would receive. Our first adoption began with Hand in Hand of Colorado as a well guided maize of soul searching, family and personal assessment and evaluation.
Adoptive families are rigoursly assessed. Complex and intrusive forms, examinations (physical, psychological, and full background), financial and legal paperwork difficult are just part of the check. All families adopting in America are also required to complete a home study by qualified social workers. The entire process is guided professionally and frankly requires an educated and particularly driven individual to complete. It also requires a financially secure person or family and individuals with patience yet at the same time persistence. Even with a fair amount of these skills our match took a year. Adoption is widely affected by political and policy change. Our adoption process was halted by Russian Federation legislation that set in place licensing requirements for international adoption agencies and the formalization of standards or practice to be used.

When our match was made, we received some limited information on a child in need of a family in Tula, Russia. From our perspective at the time, we felt that we were taking a tremendous risk with the information we had. Even with all of the skills and support we had at our disposal it seemed with a very short notice our family flew to Moscow on faith alone. Our seven year old son traveled with us, though widely discouraged by our agency and those in Russia, he was integral in the process.

Barely two days later, we met our child, Analessa (Yevgenia), then 22 months old. She had been in the baby house since birth. The moment I held this little bald child with the sad grey eyes, she was ours. I make no exaggeration. Our love enveloped her and she was love embodied. It is may be hard for some to understand, but I believe one would find that adoptive parents have absolutely no difference in the love they have for the adopted child or for their own biological child. It is heart wrenching to see so many children, in one place, that could create this type of love and joy within peoples.

As a parent, and a human being; I have heard some shocking rumors in Russia as to “why would someone want to adopt one of these children?”. There must be some type of ulterior motive? We were shocked to even hear the hint that Russians may believe these children were to be used as servants or perhaps were adopted for resale of body parts. How sad, untrue and how absolutely unfair. These children may seem to be forgotten, unwanted and unloved; but this is clearly untrue. There are loving families just waiting for children.

We have a deep respect for workers that care for these children in Russia. They are faced with results of an overwhelming social issue. These workers and the children within their care encounter a series of daily care and development issues that I can only classify as critical. But each and every person appears to accept this responsibility with love and devotion to the children. It is a difficult start, but it is only a small part of the journey that can result in wonders. . I can only say “thank you” every day of my life for mothers who chose to have our children and then the professionals who cared for them and those that facilitated our children’s placement. They have all allowed us the gift to love a child so deeply. In our adoptions we have made four trips to Russia. In this process we have met many of the best people in the world. Many cultural, language or other barriers are removed or proved irrelevant when love and passion drives people. The people working with the children or within this system in Russia understand this and desperately want a child to have a measurably better chance in life. We are entrusted with that mission. Our first adoption created perhaps the poster family for adoption with the poster child. Everything about our first adoption has worked well since returning home. Analessa is charming, witty, bright and personable. We have educated others in adoption, provided for cultural exchange as well as orphan relief. It was really no surprise we again chose to adopt, and again from Russia. Our son McKenzie traveled again to Russia, but this time St. Petersburg and summer camp on the Baltic!

Spencer (Sergei) was six years old and had been in several orphanages since his birth. Better educated and system wise we completed our adoption in six months! We have had our son in our family about eight months. Spencer is older than our first adopted child was and he faces more of an uphill battle. Based on our wishes we knew he has some minor special needs and issues. Despite our fears and almost beyond belief he has rapidly developed a new language and assimilated into a family setting. An older child is different…language needs, social skills, and the entire development required to be a part of a family are ahead of them. A third middle age child also needs to adapt to the existing two children who in turn must also learn and develop a different set of skills. Our new son is more difficult to cuddle and love as one might with an infant, but he is loved and treasured none the less. We all need to know him as an individual, and he will need to establish his place in our family. We must also work harder to win his trust and his heart.

As our family continues to develop, our love grows in intensity. Our children have brought a special light to our lives and hopefully we will be the best parents we can be so that they develop to be the best human beings they too can be. We, like the world over, work our hardest and try our best to raise loving, educated and productive members of society. We would be blessed to do it even again. As we continue our daily lives, we see a shining light. For us the light is Russian. We thank you; our children thank you and the world will thank you for the opportunity you have provided to all of us.